Philippines – The Boys Club – Part Four

Are Filipinos prudish about sex?

No….no….definitely not! Far from it!

Grubby humour is very popular, and it crosses age barriers. The humour generally mixes very well with irreverent Aussie humour, and is one of the reasons that Australian Filipina couples get on so well. I can remember years ago (former girlfriend) sitting in a family group while teenage niece taught me the words for genitalia in Visayan, whilst 70 year old grandad cracked up laughing into his Tanduay. I have nephews who visit us from the provinces fairly regularly. Their English is terrible, but jokes about “taking matters in-hand”, pubic hair, circumcision and being a bakla (ask your lady again), never fail to get laughs.

Someone described the Filipino attitude toward sexual matters as being “G-Rated” once. Not far from the truth. Usually not overly sophisticated, and never sounds dirty. Kinkiness and perverted things would most likely not go down very well at all with most, and would generally be met with confusion.

On the subject of bakla, ie gay chaps in the Philippines, you will find that no one really gives this issue much thought. I have a photo (which you will not see, as Jeremy will sulk for a long time if I do) of my son posing with a gay couple in SM in Naga when he was 14. One of the couple was a chap with a short skirt and long, skinny legs. They had to be talked into the photo by Mila at the time, because they said they were “shy”! Oh, yeah? Dressed like that in public? Didn’t raise an eyebrow amongst the locals.

Sex between couples in the Philippines

Whether you choose to wait for marriage or not, this is between the two of you. None of my business, or anybody elses.

I can remember my mum sharing the 1940’s Australian approach to the issue. It went:

It’s a gentleman’s right to ask, and a lady’s right to refuse.

This is pretty much the current approach here. If you are romantically involved with a lady, she won't faint dead on the spot if you express your desires. However if you are a gentleman, you should respect her wishes if she isn't ready yet.

You will generally find that after marriage Filipina ladies are quite receptive, with none of the lights-off whilst still partially-dressed stuff of nightmares. A loving Filipina lady makes a wonderful partner, and will take care of you very well. I won't say any more than that.

Contraception and other matters

The clichés go that the dreaded Catholic Church denies contraception and condoms from the masses. Nonsense!

1. In order to marry here, you need to attend a seminar about contraception! And not “use contraception at the peril of your soul”, but practical instruction in how it all works. Chances are it will be in Tagalog, so you might want to bring a book.

2. Doctors will willingly write prescriptions for contraceptive pills. Those long-term injections are readily available. Condoms are in every pharmacy, and most 7-11’s and service stations. The local chaps are not very fond of them, and yes in the provinces if a couple have a romantic relationship you usually find a pregnancy follows shortly after, but it’s not because they have no choice.

So have fun! And remember that sex and pregnancy often go together. There is a time and a place, and after the visa grant is a much more convenient time. It really is!