Looking for a wife from a South East Asian Country. Where should you look?

Is the title a bit confrontational? Yes it is. I make no apologies for that. It will make people want to read it (which is a good thing, of course!), but it’s also that question in the back of the minds of Australian men who are thinking it’s time to settle down. Where do I look for a wife? Which countries (Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia) have ladies where I’m likely to find the wife of my dreams?

It’s also horribly generalizing, and I’m very aware of that. And you will never hear me de-humanising women as objects! But I DO like people clicking on my site and reading my articles!

Asian Wives. The BAD OLD Days!

I started looking for a wife outside of Australia back in the 1990’s. I was divorced, and had enough of the headaches of the local dating scene. Then I had met an Australian man who had a life which I envied….or should I say I aspired to having the same. I’d had enough of dating sour and bitter divorcees with hearts of stone and plenty of emotional baggage.

This man’s wife was from a South East Asian country. She was attractive, kind-hearted and a cheerful lady. They also had a lovely 4 year old daughter between them. As a sad and jaded bachelor, I thought I could like to have a life like theirs.

When I refer to “the old days”, I mean what you could find on websites at the time (ie 80’s and 90’s). Cliched nonsense that said “ALL girls from [insert country] are……..blah blah blah!” 

Romantic, family oriented, marriage-minded and a string of qualities which MAY be a truthful generalization, but didn’t allow for the fact that people everywhere are individuals! We are DIFFERENT! Not every lady from a South East Asian country will be the perfect wife for any man at all! Plus, not every Australian man is a perfect husband either! It takes two to tango!

So yes, I found my lovely wife. We celebrated 20 years of marriage back in February 2024 by renewing our marriage vows. Is she a perfect wife? I would say about as perfect as I am a perfect husband! I think most people couldn’t stand being married to either of us, to be honest. But we seem to work.

So I hope that no one on the journey goes in with blinkers on and brain-in-neutral! Deciding whether to pursue a relationship with a lady from Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia is no different to deciding whether to marry Cheryl from work! You still need to work out whether you’re compatible or not!

Some Issues To Consider

1. We (Down Under Visa) manage Australian partner visas and tourist visas and others from Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia. 
2. There are issues that men will consider when deciding where to start their romantic adventure.

See below…..

English skills

None of these three countries (Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia) has English as a second language! However the younger and the better-educated from any of them will be able to communicate reasonably well with you. Your main issue is not using your broad Australian drawl and mumble and expecting everyone to understand perfectly! You will still have people confused and asking “Sorry sir?” 

So Australian men? Learn to speak clearly!

And there are excellent phone apps which will translate conversations either spoken or written. These will generally get you understood.

Conduciveness to marrying a foreigner 

Sorry about the choice of word! Australians have issues with the word “foreigner”. But get used to it! It’s used frequently in the rest of the world, and no offense is meant by it!

Plenty of South East Asian country’s ladies like the idea of marrying a foreigner from Australia than other countries. One characteristic common to ALL these countries I’m writing about is that the people are NICE and FRIENDLY and APPROACHABLE! And everybody wants to fall in love one day! 

None of the countries above have a dislike of marrying outside their nationality and culture! And what could be better than Australian men?

Christianity

The other issue MAY or may not mean something to you. So if a shared faith is important to you, you may find it may find it challenging to find a Christian girl. The exception would be Vietnam especially if you’re Catholic. 7% of the Vietnamese population is Catholic, and they tend to be very devout.

The Myth of the Perfect Asian Wife

No, Asia is NOT a magic place where Australian men can switch off the brain and find that perfect wife guaranteed! I had several miserable failures here before I met and married Mila. Wrong people exist everywhere! Yes, pick a country! THEN pick the lady you want to spend the rest of your life with!

I had someone once (Australian woman) say that “…they are trained from birth that they are here to serve men!” Goodness me, if you think that or WANT that, please exit this page! This is a horrible racist view! Are they generally content being feminine and OK with men who don’t need to apologize for their “male priviledge”? Yes, fairly common. But they also have their own minds and their own ideas!

Thailand

Certainly a wonderful place to visit. Very clean, sophisticated and easy to cope with. Traffic is orderly. Streets are fairly clean. You can drink the tap water in Bangkok (considered safe by WHO standards). And the food is wonderful!

Mostly Buddhist. 1.2% Christian, so unlikely to find a like-minded lady if this is something that is important to you. Yes, I’m happily and enthusiastically Catholic myself, but one thing I will say about Buddhists is they are very aware of “karma” and it makes them very careful about being honest and fair with others. So the ladies of Thailand are pretty easy to get on with!

Yes, it’s well known for its sleazy side. Thailand has its sex tourist spots. But it’s entirely up to you if this is what you seek. There are red-light areas just as there are in most cities (including Sydney!), but you can get around normally without being hassled by prostitutes! So don’t let that put you off! It’s actually a very safe place. I feel safer in Bangkok than I do in Sydney, and I wouldn’t go near New York if you paid me!

English skills? Better than it was in years-gone-by. The world is becoming less insular, with YouTube and other online information flows so English becomes absorbed more and more and especially with young people. I have no difficulty getting about in Thailand knowing absolutely nothing of the language. 

And on that topic? Places like Japan are much harder to get around in. Very few people can even make a basic conversation in English. BUT you have phone apps where you can get local translations of English (and visa versa) in written and spoken form. You can even scan signs and cornflakes packets to get reliable translations. So don’t let that be a major issue for you!

The ladies? Beautiful. Charming. Funny. Friendly. And the single ladies are dreaming of falling in love with their Mr Right just as you are hoping to meet your future wife. 

Vietnam

I’ve just spent 9 days in Ho Chi Minh City. Why? Because it’s a nice place to visit. That was I think my fourth visit over the years. Really love the place! 

Traffic? Chaotic! But they are NICE people! Almost never see an accident because people are not aggressive on the road. They just drive motor scooters on the footpath! But they won’t run you down! I feel extremely safe on the streets of HCMC. A few tourist and red-light areas there, where you get hit on to buy cheap sunglasses etc but I’ve never seen anyone scary! 

English skills? Not great! The Government is encouraging them to study English and the younger ones are better than the older ones. And everyone reaches for the phone app if they don’t understand. The accent is a bit challenging, but you get used to it. 

The girls? Stunning beautiful! Mostly fair-skinned. Slim. Pretty. And very friendly! Very sweet! I could well imagine it would be easy to find a lovely wife here. 

Christians? 9% of the population. 7% Catholic (due to the French being there for so long). Very devout Catholic people! Some beautiful churches, and Mass in Vietnamese is truly angelic.

It’s also a very cheap place to visit and stay, so you won’t go broke visiting! Hotels are cheap. Grab taxis are cheap. Food is cheap (and very good!)

Cambodia

Must say I have a soft spot for the Khmers. Cambodians call themselves “Khmer”, by the way. Similar in nature to the Vietnamese, but something almost innocent and child-like about them. I don’t mean that to sound patronizing. Not at all. I mean it in the nicest possible way. Happy, smiling and friendly people who carry themselves like they don’t have much stress weighing down on their shoulders. Wave to the kids, and they smile and wave back at you. Wave to ADULTS and they do the same. 

Traffic is chaotic, but again non-aggressive the same as Vietnam. Lots of motor scooters weaving in and out. 

The girls? I find them very pretty. They’re conservative in how they dress and behave, but will still smile and talk to you if you talk to them. And they’re more brown than white….most of them. Many of us (including me) find this very attractive. That coupled with brown eyes and long eyelashes. 

English skills? I think I’ve also been there 4 times. My observation is probably a little better than the Vietnamese. I find their accents easier too. 

Christianity? Again not many. 2.8% of the population. 85% Buddhist. And note what I said about Buddhists in the Thailand section. Us Christians could learn something about forgiveness from the people of Cambodia*.

*Most would be aware of the sad history of Cambodia between 1975 and 1979. Khmer Rouge took over the country. There was no revolution and this was NOT a popular uprising. It was backed by the Chinese and forced upon an innocent populace. 1/3 of the population was brutally murdered. Yet? They hold no resentment toward those who did this. When former Khmer Rouge returned from refugee camps they were forgiven and accepted back. Wow!

Also fairly cheap place to visit and stay for a while. Food is cheap and great. As are hotels and Grab taxis. 

Scams – And How To Avoid Them

I could probably write volumes about this.

Could you meet a scammer? Are any of these countries free from scammers? Are 100% of the populations of Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia scammer-free? Not likely!

The fact is this! And you need to accept this! YOU are RICH! You may not FEEL rich, but compared to most of the ladies in South East Asia you contact? You are!

Someone who works in a supermarket in:

• Thailand AUD$650.00 per month
• Vietnam AUD$300.00 per month
• Cambodia AUD$300.00 per month
• Australia AUD$5,000.00 per month

So yes, you are rich! You also get Medicare, cheap medicine, and the Government has a safety net to catch those going through a hard time!

So whilst you would probably get on your high horse and say “I would NEVER……..!!”, see how you would feel if you couldn’t pay the rent? Couldn’t pay school fees! You or your kids had health issues and you couldn’t afford medicine or couldn’t even see a doctor? And this Australian man who earned 16 times what you earned suddenly showed an interest in you? Where would your morality be then? Probably a bit more flexible!

Not saying you should lie down and take it! Just be aware of it as a real possibility.

Golden Rules?

1. Keep money out of it! 

She and her family survived in their society this long! Do you think they were about to go off the cliff, and you the hero Aussie man arrived just in the nick of time on your white charger? Think again! They’ve been dealing with that cliff for generations!

2. If she appears to have fallen in love with you yet barely knows you?

She isn’t!

You DO truly know when you and someone really hit it off! Yes, there’s a certain “magic” there which is hard to explain sometimes, and yes the dreaded “love at first sight” happens! It happened with me and my wife. 

Yet I could also see that there was a definite compatibility there, and she really did know me!

Contrast? 

• She tells you she’s already in love with you, yet doesn’t know about your work and your children (even though you know you told her)!
• She’s extraordinary pretty, and she just throws herself at you (and you’re not a Brad Pitt lookalike)!
• The old rule of thumb? If it appears to be too good to be true? It probably is! Their should be a meeting of heart, soul and mind! You should feel like she’s your missing piece of the puzzle!
• And I think you gents all know the story about a man having two heads, and only enough blood for one to operate at once? We all know it’s true! That aspect of us is about impregnating and breeding! It’s NOT how we meet our soulmate! Try to think with the right head!

And there are plenty of single ladies in the world. She is NOT the last one. NOT the last chance! If she’s wrong? Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on!

Good luck, gents!

And don’t forget who to come and see when you need a visa to Australia for her!

Jeff Harvie is a Registered Migration Agent from Australia, but resident in Philippines since 2010 with his Filipina wife Mila and large extended family. Experienced with the Philippines culture, cross-cultural relationships and bureaucracy as well as Australian visas and Australian Migration Law, he writes with authority and fortunately with enough informality and humour that the average Aussie gets it! Down Under Visa specialises in visas for Australians in relationships with ladies and gents from Philippines, Thailand, China and Vietnam. Read MORE