I like to think I’ve always been a gentleman, despite growing up watching “Carry On…..” movies. I’ve always treated ladies with respect and courtesy. I’m old-fashioned in a lot of my views, and I accept that there are differences in the nature of men and women. Fortunately Filipinas generally have little problem with men being men, especially if the man respects them and their position too.

The age of chivalry is NOT dead!

The Philippines has a particular type of “adult” tourism, as most would know. Not everyone comes here with a fiancée to meet up with after many months of building a loving relationship. Some come here with more temporary plans and no thought of commitment.

Bars and girls

I’ve mentioned “bar girls” before in other posts, particularly THIS ONE. And I’ve made it clear that we at Down Under Visa have no problems when a couple meet this way. None whatsoever. None of our business to start with, and secondly? We see plenty of happy couples who did meet this way. We all need to make a living, and some find their choices are limited and they do what they have to do.

And this is where I begin to explain the point I want to make. Not all of us have the world at our feet. In Australia, sure, we know we can go to university and become doctors and lawyers and can go on to make the big bucks if we work hard enough. Not all countries and not all socio-economic sectors have those same great opportunities. If you grow up in a rice-planting family in a desperately poor area, then maybe working in bars is the only way you can help yourself and to help your family to break the poverty cycle. And to me? This is not a reason why a girl should be disrespected.

I’ve been in bars before. Not “my thing” at all. I’m pretty conservative, and definitely a family man. Yet I’ve had occasions where I’ve ended up in one. Normally gesturing toward the wedding ring is sufficient to be left in peace, and that’s all fine. I had one situation where a bikini-clad girl was sat next to me, and her supervisor was trying to encourage me to grope her basically, because “she was cold”. I could NOT do that! Sorry, but how could I? I wasn’t “her client”, nor was I going to become her client. And there was no way I was going to take advantage of a girl trying to earn a living to cop a quick feel.

I thing I notice which is probably a side-effect to this type of activity is that some men don’t realise that the girls trying to earn a living are doing just that. They are doing a job, and they are playing a role. They most likely do NOT find you incredibly handsome, and they probably don’t get or appreciate your jokes. I doubt very much that they enjoy you copping a fondle either, even if they do respond with a giggle. I’ve never been under any illusions. I was in that particular bar with the “cold” girl with my son, actually. And no, I didn’t believe it when told that someone “thought we were brothers”, and I realise they probably don’t like my beard at all! And I’m quite OK about that.

Yet it’s very obvious that there are many men DO in fact believe the illusion. I’m sure they believe that the girl finds their face stunningly handsome, and that she would have spent that time with him even if she was rich.

And to clarify something here, of course it’s possible that she did. I had a very bizarre incident many years before (back in the 90’s actually) where I visited a bar…..bought one drink only….and spent hours in a very pleasant conversation with a nice young lady who never asked for anything at all, who then walked me to the door, gave me a platonic peck on the cheek and waved me goodbye. I suspect she enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. And those of you who did meet your ladies in a bar must have been fortunate enough to have gone beyond the “act” and a meeting of hearts and minds took place instead. And good for the both of you! But I would think that most of the time this isn’t the case at all.

Being a gentleman

What I really hope is that those who have done the “bar thing” can leave the “bar thing” behind when they do meet the girl of their dreams, whether it’s there in the bar or somewhere else. I hope that men do NOT think that Filipina ladies are completely different and therefore should be treated differently, with all the nonsense-talk, the groping and the ungentlemanly behavior! I hope you can all treat your ladies with the greatest respect. Having an accent…..eating different foods….and generally having a different cultural upbringing and life……this in no way means inferiority or not deserving of respect.

Personally? I think Filipina ladies are the finest ladies I’ve ever met on the planet. They are generally hard-working….strongly moral…..family-oriented….and exceptionally kind-hearted. And I’m sure that the vast majority of Down Under Visa clients and BLOG-readers know all of this very well. I just hope that those who don’t will end up realizing this too.