This is Part Three of the “After the Visa” series of articles. Now we can get onto drivers licenses, as well as other issues for Australian Filipina couples to help her to fit in when she arrives from the Philippines with her partner visa.

Yes, I’m joking!

Driving

My goodness! I remember this well! At the risk of Mila killing me, I’ll tell you about her first driving experience.

Back road, ie. dirt road, with no other cars around. Mila behind the wheel. Touches foot on accelerator. Car moves. She screams. We then proceed to swerve from one side of the road to the other, doing about 5 km/h. Later on, nearly drives over a small embankment. We contacted the driving school!

She had lots of lessons. More than most did. Keep in mind that Australia has a culture of driving, especially for women. I used to let my son drive on backroads from when he was around 14. Sent him to the driving school for 3 – 4 lessons to learn all that hill-start nonsense and reverse-parking, and he got his license first go. A 30 year old Filipina lady, it’s a bit different and a bit of a quantum leap. So be patient.

The point about driving is that most parts of Australia are not as urbanised as most parts of the Philippines. You can’t get around as easily as you can when there are tricycles, jeepneys, buses, etc running everywhere. She will need to learn to drive and to get her drivers license. It’s not reasonable to expect to dump her at home with no way of getting about. Our former client suggested getting this even when she’s visiting you, assuming you get a multiple-entry tourist visa whilst waiting for the partner visa to be processed. Sure, why not?

Working

Contrary to the subservient housemaid/wife theories of the racist femonazis, most Filipinas are not accustomed to the idea of hanging around the house whilst hubby brings home the bacon. This of course gets down to the Princess or Worker issue that I raised in an earlier BLOG article. The less of a princess that she is, the more she will be climbing the walls if you expect her to sit around like Mrs Brady on the Brady Bunch doing nothing all day. She is used to being busy and being productive, so be prepared for this.

That means organising a Tax File Number for her ASAP. And it means helping her to find a job that will suit her. Mila worked in a Chinese restaurant as a kitchen hand when she first arrived. I’m sure whatever she earned, I blew on fuel taking her to and from work in the evenings. But she felt better about it. Then she ended up working in the local meatworks. Finally she ended up working with me, and still does. So be understanding about this.

Money, house matters, shopping, etc

Again, contrary to the Asian Woman myths, Filipina ladies are not mere housemaids and decorative trophy-wives. She will want to make her presence felt, and will want to be the woman-of-the-house. She will be happy that you wear the trousers and do the blokey things, but most domestic matters she will consider very much as her own and you need to let her.

As far as money goes? I have a wallet……empty. I have an ATM card….but I’ve forgotten the PIN. This is all quite normal.

House matters? Well, I’ve become even less domestic since we moved here. In fact I have trouble finding a spoon in the kitchen. In Australia I cooked for years. Mila tossed me out of the kitchen years ago, and nothing has changed. Be prepared to step aside and let her express herself and feel at home. The same goes for shopping, etc. She will soon find her way around the supermarket, and she will find bargains that you would never have found.

Life will become better for you. We often see our Aussie visa clients post-marriage, and they look better-fed and they are better-dressed, and you know that their house will be cleaner and nicer than it ever was before. Don’t hold her back from this. Give and take. It’s not about you showing her “the right way”, and it’s not about you having no say whatsoever in how things are doing. Soon you will both cease acting like you did when you were single, and you’ll start thinking and acting like a couple…..as you should!